Dumpster EffectWhen I got an e-mail from a so called friend who had called a man I had dated “trash” — this was my response. I still stand by it today even though the “dumpster effect” does seem to exist on our collective minds about some folks– it is Illusion–a sophistry of spiritual deadness to call any human trash– our choices are only love or fear based. Not possible for us to be any thing but God’s creation.Beloved Friend,
I am up and on my way to a Saturday session for my kids at school. I just wanted to clarify something. I consider Cole — to be one of the great loves of my life. I have been honored to have been able to help him, help his son Jackson —–
in college, and Cole was the kindest man I ever knew, in bed and out of bed—to ME. He gave a huge piece of me back to me—God and Love and Life—to me. That was, I believe, his purpose in my life. He –unfortunately for me—was just not the kind of man who commits to ONE woman, and he was quite honest about this and his history. He needed my affection and money, but Cole loved Beth–not me. His ex-wife was the love of his life. I knew this. It hurt to know this, but I am not a fool about matters of the heart. I never expected to fall so deeply in love with him, but I also was aware that he was not ready nor would EVER be ready to settle down to one woman, especially a white woman. I was his “dessert tray” after a lot of long lonely years, and he needed me that way. I get that. I forgave myself for being the fool in love, and I forgave him for not loving me. He may have enjoyed hanging out with me, but he was never, ever, in any way, telling me he loved me or was looking for me to be the ONE. At this point, Arnett, I deserve MORE in life. I deserve to be cherished and respected. If I am the only one left to cherish and respect myself, so be it. God had the controls, and not me. I am just here to serve God’s will.
EVERY single man I have dated I consider a sacred being, a soul—God’s child— every man—-and one whom I was supposed to meet for some reason. I tried very hard to always be KIND and good—even to those men who intentionally deceived me or hurt me in some form or fashion. All humans are sacred souls. I had lessons to learn and these men also had lessons to learn, we all taught each other about the sacred journey we are on in this life. I don’t regret any thing I ever attempted, because I wanted the BEST for all concerned. I have prayed for forgiveness to God for my mistakes, my shortcomings, my sins–missing the mark in life, and prayed for the ability to forgive those in my life who harmed me or hurt me, intentionally or unintentionally. NO HUMAN is garbage. NO human is trash. Some relationships end up in the trash because one person or the other can’t grow or isn’t ready to grow toward a new way of being with one another. Please know I wanted to tell you that you are sacred, special and blessed simply because of being here on earth as a human. I know not the end of my journey, but I know I have loved with an open heart, and have been as generous to others as I could. I will continue on my path. Then, God willing, I will go Home to Him.Love and Light and Blessings Sent.